


Trouble in Paradise

by deanieweaniewrites



Series: Hold Me Tighter [13]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, College AU, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, roommate au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24493321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanieweaniewrites/pseuds/deanieweaniewrites
Summary: Castiel and Dean have lived together for several years, and have been together for seven months. Lately, they've felt that their spark has faded, and it starts a few arguments.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Hold Me Tighter [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1264196
Comments: 9
Kudos: 67





	Trouble in Paradise

**Author's Note:**

> I promise this has a happy ending. Our boys aren't picture perfect all the time, so these things happen. Sorry for the lack of smut in this part, it didn't feel appropriate for this installment. I hope you enjoy it anyways!

Dean loved his relationship with Castiel. Things were moving at a good pace and they were happy. Lately, they had been doing kink related activities almost every day. They were growing in their practice of it, and it was fun.

They didn’t spend the entire day doing kinky things, but they did do something every day. At first, Dean loved it. He loved exploring their kinks and finding new things that they enjoyed doing. But, the last few times they had scened, Dean wasn’t feeling it.

During scenes, Dean felt tired. He didn’t put in as much effort as before, and Castiel was picking up on it. He kept asking what was wrong, and Dean would just say he was tired, and they would stop. It made Dean upset to have to stop, mostly because he didn’t know why he wasn’t feeling it. His biggest fear was that he was getting bored. He loved Castiel dearly, but things didn’t feel alive like they used to.

Dean came home from work one evening and laid down on the couch, curling up slightly. He had been thinking about Castiel all day. He knew how he felt about the situation, and it scared him.

Castiel walked down the stairs and approached the couch, tilting his head. “Dean? Are you alright?”

Dean glanced up at Castiel, then back at the floor, his body unmoving. “Yeah. Just thinking.”

Castiel sat on the arm of the couch and placed a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “About what?”

Dean didn’t react to being touched. “I think we’ve lost our spark.”

Castiel frowned. “Is this about the past few nights?”

Dean nodded, running his fingers over the fabric of the couch. “I’m scared to say what I think it means.”

Castiel stayed quiet for a few seconds. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Dean took a deep breath. “I think we’re growing apart.”

There was no response from Castiel, just silence.

“It’s just...not fun anymore. I feel tired every time we do anything sexual. My libido is usually pretty high, but it’s gone now. I’m so afraid of what this means. I know I love you but…” he sighed, “I don’t feel our chemistry anymore.”

Castiel took his hand off of Dean’s shoulder, and it made Dean’s heart sink to his stomach. Castiel stood up and knelt down in front of Dean’s face. “If that’s really how you feel, then I’ll understand, but I think there might be another explanation.”

Dean rubbed at his eyes. He wasn’t crying yet, but his eyes were starting to burn with tears.

“We’ve been having sex or a scene every day for two weeks. I don’t know what came over me to decide that was okay, but it’s not. Our relationship isn’t based on sex and kink, but we’ve acted like it was for two weeks now. I think we’re burnt out from it. I don’t feel that our chemistry faded, I just feel tired from doing the same things over and over. We need a break from all of that.”

Dean wiped his eyes hard, pushing enough for it to hurt. He stopped when Castiel took his hands away from his face and wiped his tears for him. “What if I’m right?”

“Then we go from there, but I’m not sure that’s the case. Let’s try this: no sex or kink for a week. Let’s focus on the non-sexual side of our relationship and see what happens, okay? No need to jump to the worst case scenario.”

Dean sniffled and leaned his head into Castiel’s hand. “How are you so calm for this?”

“Because you need me to be. Truthfully, I’m as scared as you are. I don’t want this to mean what you think it means. But, I have hope. Our bond is too strong to just wither and fade. I think it would take a lot more than getting bored to bring us apart, don’t you think?”

Dean nodded. Castiel was right, as per usual. “Yeah. I’m sorry I freaked out.”

Castiel kissed Dean’s forehead. “No need to apologize. I should apologize for not realizing what was happening sooner. I let my libido and sexual needs come before both of our emotional needs, and that’s not acceptable. I’m sorry.”

Dean sat up a little and hugged Castiel around the neck. “It’s okay. I did it too.”

Castiel hugged Dean back and kissed the top of his head. “I love you so much, Dean.”

“I love you too.” Dean let out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding. “Let’s try the no sex thing. I think it’ll work.”

Castiel let go of Dean and nodded. “How about tonight, we order pizza and watch a movie together? Maybe later this week, when neither of us are working, we can have a date night and go out to eat.”

Dean smiled softly. “I’d like that.” He sat up fully and wiped his face again. “I can order the pizza.”

“I’ll go grab a blanket from upstairs. Do you want to change out of your work clothes?”

Dean looked at himself and nodded. “Yeah, definitely.” He got up and walked up the stairs, Castiel trailing behind him. He changed into a t-shirt and some flannel pajama pants, which were much more comfortable than his work uniform.

Castiel changed into some comfortable pajamas as well and carried a big, fluffy blanket back downstairs for them. He sat on the couch and put half of the blanket over his back, holding the rest open for Dean.

Dean walked over to the couch and sat down next to Castiel, curling up against his side. He pulled the other half of the blanket around himself and rested his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. He took out his phone and ordered the pizza online while Castiel scrolled through Netflix to find a movie for them to watch.

After a few minutes of being together like that, Dean already felt like this was the solution. The pressure to do something kinky or sexual was gone, and it was liberating. Dean got to simply enjoy Castiel’s company and feel his affection.

The pizza arrived half an hour later. They set it on the coffee table in front of them and ate it silently while they watched the TV.

Dean turned his head to look at Castiel, a smile curling at his lips. “Thank you.”

Castiel looked at Dean and matched his soft smile. “For what?”

“For not freaking out when I was. I know what I was saying was scary. You calmed me down a lot just by being calm, so I appreciate it. Also, thanks for the idea to try and help us. I think it’s already working. There’s no pressure. It’s nice.” He paused. “We could even plan something fun for when the week is up.”

Castiel kissed Dean’s forehead. “I knew that freaking out would only make things worse,” he hummed. “But, I don’t think we should plan anything. If we end up needing more time, we’ll both feel pressure to do something we’re not ready for. I think we need to commit to at least a week of nothing, and then feel it out from there.”

Dean nodded. “You’re right. We can plan something after we’ve had our break.”

“We can. Until we’re ready, let’s just focus on the other things, like how nice it is to be cuddled up here together.” Castiel held Dean a little closer and wrapped his other arm around him.

Dean draped an arm over Castiel with a smile. “Yeah, this is nice.”

They ended up watching a second movie after the first one ended. When they went to bed that night, they were both much more relaxed than they had been in the past two weeks. Dean slept better than he had in a long time, his head on Castiel’s chest.

The next day, both of them were working in the morning and afternoon. They parted ways in the morning with a kiss and promises of a date night that evening.

Dean got home before Castiel, who worked a little further away from the house. His shifts were usually a half hour longer than Dean’s too. He worked with Charlie at a local bakery. His good penmanship earned him a place doing the writing on some of the cakes. Dean’s job at Jamba Juice wasn’t nearly as exciting.

Dean took off his work uniform and showered before dressing in a collared shirt and black jeans. It wasn’t his fanciest outfit, but he had made Castiel promise that they wouldn’t go somewhere super fancy, since those kinds of places tended to stress Dean out, even if he wasn’t the one paying.

Castiel got home once Dean was out of the shower and ready. He walked up the stairs and smiled at Dean. “You look nice. I’ll try to shower quickly.”

Dean chuckled and walked over to Castiel. “You have flour on your nose.” He brushed his thumb over the flour.

Castiel tried to look at his own nose. “That happens.” He smiled and grabbed his clothes from the closet before retreating to the bathroom to shower.

Dean sat on the bed and played on his phone while he waited. He was feeling pretty good about everything today. The date night sounded nice, and he was excited.

Once Castiel was out of the shower, they debated briefly where they should eat. They ended up agreeing on a local burger joint that they both adored. It wasn’t fancy, not in the slightest, but the food was good.

Over dinner, they finally had a chance to just talk. They lived together, so there were many conversations in passing, but it had been a while since they just sat together and had a good conversation. It was refreshing.

After dinner, they went home and watched a few episodes of Game of Thrones before bed. They slept peacefully together, holding one another tightly.

The next few days were better than the last two weeks had been. They spent more quality time together, and they refrained from any kind of sexual act.

It was the sixth day of their plan, and Dean was in a sour mood. He couldn’t pinpoint why, but nevertheless, he wanted to be left alone. He didn’t speak much that morning, and over breakfast, he was stabbing his omelette a little more aggressively than usual.

By lunchtime, Castiel seemed a little fed up with Dean’s mood.

“Dean, what’s wrong? You’ve been acting off all morning.” Castiel sat beside Dean on the couch.

Dean curled away slightly. “It’s nothing.”

Castiel sighed. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

“Maybe I don’t want your help. Just leave me alone,” Dean snapped.

Castiel sat back a little. “Please, you’re clearly upset. I hate seeing you like this.”

Dean’s blood was boiling. He stood up and grabbed his shoes, pulling them on as fast as he could.

“Where are you going?”

“Out.” Dean grabbed his wallet and keys.

Castiel stood up. “So you’re just going to run away from me instead of telling me what’s going on? That’s mature.”

Dean shoved his phone into his pocket and stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind himself. He got into the impala and peeled out of the driveway, tires screeching as he drove away.

Dean drove aimlessly around Lawrence, his knuckles white as he gripped the steering wheel. After about a half hour of driving, he started to cool down a little. Led Zeppelin played softly, and the engine purred.

Thinking back to that morning, he still couldn’t really figure out why he was so angry. He felt much better out of the house, driving around. Then it hit him: he felt better because he was alone. For the past seven months, he had spent most of his time around his boyfriend. They didn’t have a period where they were together, but living separately. They were roommates first, and then boyfriends. They immediately started sleeping in the same bedroom.

It hadn’t bothered him, at least, not until now. He had thought their problem lately was being overwhelmed by too much sex and kink, but maybe Dean just needed space. They hadn’t spent a single day apart since they got together.

With that realization, Dean had no idea what to do. He couldn’t just drive around Lawrence forever. It was getting close to an hour and a half since he left the house. He was getting hungry, so he stopped at a fast-food joint to get some lunch. He felt a little better once he had eaten, but not good enough to go home.

Bored of the scenery in Lawrence, he decided to drive down the highway for a little while. There wasn’t much around Lawrence, mostly farms. He drove down roads that he knew, just letting his head clear of everything.

Dean kept driving, and soon it was close to dinner time. He started driving back towards Lawrence, stopping at another fast-food restaurant for dinner.

Dean was still an hour away from Lawrence at nine o’clock. His phone started ringing, and he glanced at it to see that it was Castiel. He thought about answering, then declined the call. He still had an hour of alone time, and he wanted to take it.

Dean arrived back in Lawrence at ten o’clock. Once he was there, he still didn’t want to go back to the house. He parked at a local park and laid down on the bench seat of the impala, relaxing and thinking about nothing.

Time passed slowly, and Dean just laid there, listening to his cassette tapes. He started to really relax. He closed his eyes, and then he fell asleep.

~~~

Dean woke up and squinted a little. The sun was coming up and shining in his eyes. He sat up quickly, not realizing that he just slept through the whole night. He rubbed his eyes and looked at his phone. There were ten missed calls from Castiel and a few texts.

**Castiel 11:30pm**   
_Where are you? I know you’re mad, but I’m worried_

**Castiel 12:08am**   
_I’m scared, Dean. Please just let me know you’re okay_

**Castiel 3:14am**   
_Whatever I did, I’m sorry. I just need to know that you’re safe. Please answer me._

**Castiel 5:58am**   
_I’m really starting to freak out. All I need is a text, just so I know you’re okay. I’m so sorry I made you do this. Please come home._

Dean dragged a hand over his face. It was six thirty, and from the times that Castiel sent texts, it was clear that he didn’t sleep all night. Dean suddenly felt incredibly guilty for what he had done. He sat up, buckled himself in, and started driving.

Dean hadn’t even stopped to think about how Castiel would feel about any of this. He just selfishly ran away and stayed away without telling him anything. Castiel would have understood if Dean needed a day to himself. Dean felt like the biggest asshole in the world.

When he got back to the house, he got out quietly, since most of their neighbors would probably be asleep. He kind of hoped Castiel was asleep, since the poor guy didn’t sleep all night.

Dean unlocked the door and pushed it open slowly. He peeked inside and didn’t see Castiel in the living room or kitchen. He closed the door, and then he heard something. Loud sobs were coming from upstairs. The guilt pooled low in Dean’s belly, eating him from the inside out.

He took a deep breath and slid his shoes off before walking up the stairs. He gently pushed the bedroom door open and chewed his lip at what he saw.

Castiel was curled up in their bed, facing away from Dean, and crying into a pillow. Dean had seen Castiel get sniffly a few times during a movie, and he cried that one time when reliving his trauma, but this was on a new level. Castiel was choking and coughing as he cried. It was heartbreaking to see.

Dean took a step forward and the floor creaked. He should have known, that spot was always creaky. Castiel turned around immediately and sat up.

“Dean? Oh thank god…” He got up and started to run to Dean to hug him, but suddenly stopped. “Sorry, I shouldn’t-”

Dean took the final few steps forwards and hugged Castiel tightly. He wanted to cry himself.

Castiel hugged Dean back and buried his face in his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

“No, don’t apologize. I’m the asshole here.”

“I don’t know what I did to make you run away, I tried to think of it but I couldn’t. I should have read you better, I usually can, I just don’t understand-”

“Cas.” Dean pulled back from the hug and looked at Castiel’s face. He looked like shit. His eyes were puffy, his face was splotchy red, and his eyes had bags underneath them. “Have you slept yet?”

Castiel shook his head. “How could I? I was terrified.”

“What about food? Shower?”

Castiel just shook his head.

“Look, I have an explanation. It’s a shitty one and it doesn’t justify what I did, but I need to take care of you first. What was the last meal you ate?”

Castiel thought for a moment. “I ate a sandwich for lunch yesterday.”

“Okay, let’s get you a big breakfast, then a shower, and then you’re going to sleep.”

“I have work today.”

“Call in. You can’t work like this.”

Castiel wiped his face with his t-shirt. “Can’t we talk about this first?”

“No, you need to be taken care of first.”

“I can take care of myself.”

Dean sighed. “So can I, but you always insist on taking care of me when I’m having a rough time. It’s your turn. Come on, let’s get breakfast.”

Castiel followed Dean down the stairs to the kitchen. He pulled a kitchen chair over closer to the kitchen and sat down in it. “Can you just answer one question for me?”

Dean thought for a moment. “Okay.”

“Are we breaking up?”

Dean frowned. “No, we’re not. Not unless that’s what you want.”

“God no!” Castiel rested his elbows on his legs and put his face in his hands. He was still wearing his clothes from the day before.

Dean decided on making french toast and sausage for breakfast, since it was Castiel’s favorite. He tried to work quickly, because he wanted to get Castiel to sleep as fast as possible. Once breakfast was ready, he brought it to the table with glasses of orange juice.

Castiel moved his chair back to the table and looked at what Dean had made. He didn’t smile, but his face did brighten slightly, and he looked a little less sad. He started eating slowly, then sped up, probably realizing just how hungry he was.

Dean watched Castiel eat as he ate his own breakfast. He ignored his own feelings of guilt to focus on taking care of Castiel.

Once they were both done eating, Dean put the dishes in the sink and led Castiel back up the stairs to their bedroom. He turned on the shower and looked back at Castiel, who was leaning on the doorframe a little. The exhaustion was getting to him. Dean walked up to him and started taking off his clothes for him.

“I can undress myself,” Castiel mumbled.

“I know.” Dean finished undressing him and took off his own clothes. He took Castiel’s hand and led him into the shower.

Castiel was practically a zombie in the shower. He was pliant, so he didn’t move much on his own. He looked a little less sad now, but the exhaustion in his body was obvious. He looked like he had stayed up all night.

Dean bathed Castiel as efficiently as he could, wanting to get him into bed so he could finally sleep. He skipped on bathing himself, deciding to do that later while Castiel was asleep.

He got out of the shower and wrapped himself in a towel to go grab some clean pajamas for Castiel. He ended up grabbing some of his own. He got a big t-shirt, the comfiest pajama pants he owned, and some clean boxers. He brought them back to the bathroom and saw Castiel drying himself off.

“I’ll dress myself.” Castiel reached out and took the clothes, putting them on slowly. He rubbed his face. “I have to text my boss.”

“Okay, then you’re going to sleep.” Dean put on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt while Castiel sent the text. Dean got into bed and stayed sitting up.

Castiel got into bed and started to put his head on his pillow, but paused when Dean gestured for him to come over. He scooted over closer to Dean and put his head in his lap. “Do you promise that we’ll talk as soon as I’m awake?”

“I promise.”

Castiel nodded and closed his eyes. He relaxed when Dean started brushing his fingers through his hair, gently scratching his scalp. Within minutes, he was asleep.

Dean stayed there for a little while, wanting to make sure that Castiel was fully asleep. Once he was sure, he carefully slid out from underneath Castiel’s head and stuck a pillow under him, laying his head gently on it.

He walked back to the shower and took a brisk one to get clean. He walked downstairs and washed the dishes. While he was on a good streak, he swept and mopped the kitchen, took out the trash, and tidied up the living room. He knew that he was doing these things partially because of his guilt. Dean hoped that when he talked to Castiel and they worked things out, that some of that guilt would go away. Even if it didn’t, Dean felt that he deserved it. He was an asshole.

Dean decided to let Castiel peacefully sleep for as long as possible, so he stayed downstairs and watched TV. Time passed slowly, but he accepted it. As long as Castiel was sleeping, he was okay.

Dean started making lunch at noon. He reheated some chicken that he made the other night. As he opened the microwave, he heard footsteps coming down the stairs. He turned around and saw Castiel. “Hey. Did you sleep alright?”

“Yeah, I feel a little better now.” Castiel walked into the kitchen and grabbed his chicken out of the fridge to heat up.

“Do you need to sleep anymore?”

“If I sleep any later, I won’t sleep tonight. I’m okay, I promise.”

“Alright.” Dean walked to the table and sat down to eat.

Castiel walked over to the table and sat down. “You promised, so we’re talking about this now. What happened?”

Dean sighed. He had been thinking about what he wanted to say. “I woke up in a really bad mood, for no reason that I could pinpoint. I was just short-tempered and testy. When you started insisting on figuring out what was wrong, I stormed out, also for no good reason. I just started driving, since that calms me down. I kept going, and after a while, I figured it out.”

Castiel watched Dean and listened, eating quietly.

“We haven’t spent a day apart since we got together. Sure, we go to work and school, but no matter what, when we come home, we’re together. I think there was a deeper issue beyond having too much sex that was making us grow apart. I’m really happy that we live together, but I just think that I need some time to myself every once in a while. That’s what I was craving yesterday. I drove halfway across the state and back, then parked at the park. I was just laying there, enjoying my time, and then I fell asleep.”

“I was wondering if you had stayed up all night or not.”

Dean shook his head. “I slept all night, in my car. I woke up when the sun started rising and getting in my eyes. I saw all of those calls and texts from you, and I realized how bad I had fucked up. I came back as soon as I woke up. What I did yesterday was completely uncalled for. I know you would have understood if I said I needed space for a day, and I had gone out. Instead, I just ignored you for a day without thinking at all about how you would feel about it. I’m so sorry, Cas. I should have at least answered your call or texted you. I’m an asshole for that.”

Castiel nodded a bit. “I was really scared. I had no idea where you were, and I thought we were over. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep. I cried for most of the night. I started to wonder if you drove back to Sioux Falls, but you left all of your things behind, so I wasn’t even sure about that. I was about to text Charlie when you got home. I was going to have her call you to make sure you were okay. I hoped that you would answer her if not me.”

Dean sighed and set his fork down, running his hands over his face. “I’m really sorry, Cas. I don’t know how you could forgive me for this.”

“I can, because I love you. You’re right, you’re an asshole for doing it, but I do understand why. Truthfully, I need some space of my own as well. You’re also right about us not spending a single day apart since we got together. When we argue, we’re stuck together. It forces us to work it out quickly, but it can be tiring. Maybe you should go see Sam and Bobby for a few days. That might be nice. I’ll be fine on my own.”

Dean nodded. “That’s not a bad idea. That might be nice.” He met Castiel’s eyes. “I love you, and I’m sorry.”

Castiel leaned across the table and kissed Dean softly. “I love you too, and I forgive you.”

Dean felt a good chunk of his guilt dissipate just from hearing that. He let out a small sigh and smiled a bit at his boyfriend before continuing to eat.

Castiel ate until he finished his lunch. “I know we’re technically at the end of our sex ban, but let’s avoid jumping straight back into it. We’ll just let it happen naturally.”

Dean nodded. “Agreed. Whenever it feels right, we’ll get back into it.” He finished his own lunch and washed his dishes.

Dean took out his phone to text Sam.

**Dean 12:24pm**   
_Hey Sammy. I’m thinking about coming up there for a few days soon_

**Sam 12:24pm**   
_Really? Cool. You bringing Cas?_

**Dean 12:25pm**   
_No, just me. We’re good, he’s just staying home this time._

**Sam 12:25pm**   
_Nice. Oh, his last name is Novak, right? I got my roommate assignment, and he has the same last name as Cas._

**Dean 12:26pm**   
_Wait, what’s his first name?_

**Sam 12:27pm**   
_Gabriel, I think_

**Dean 12:27pm**   
_Holy shit, that’s Cas’s little brother. Lmao he’s a little crazy, but he’s not mean or anything. You’ll probably get along._

**Sam 12:28pm**   
_Whoa, cool. Hopefully we get along. Let me know when you’re heading up here_

**Dean 12:28pm**   
_I will. See you soon_

Dean looked over at Castiel. “You’re never going to guess who Sam’s roommate is.”

Castiel raised a brow. “Who?”

“Gabriel, as in your little brother.”

Castiel’s eyes widened. “That’s a funny coincidence. I hope they get along.”

“Having met both of them, I’m not sure. Sam’s way quieter than Gabriel.”

Castiel shrugged. “Gabriel can match energy levels when he really wants to. He’s obnoxious even when he’s quiet, but he can bring it down to that level.”

Dean chuckled a bit. “Well, I guess all we can do is hope that it goes well.”

Castiel took Dean’s hands and kissed his cheek. “I’m really glad that we’re okay. I don’t know if I could ever lose you. You’re too precious to me.”

Dean squeezed Castiel’s hands. “I know I could never lose you. I love you so much.”

Castiel hugged Dean tightly. “I love you too.”


End file.
